Photo by Haryad photography on Unsplash
As I sat down to write, I felt the urge to write about how adults feel left out, too. To write about all the reflections pouring forth from my heart, the good and the bad. I wanted a photograph of someone alone, off in the distance, from Unsplash. Maybe a picture with a group off to the side, talking to themselves, and another individual alone watching. Then this picture struck me. These shoes are definitely left out literally, but isn't this how we all feel figuratively when we are "left out"? Are we all an old pair of worn-out shoes, dangling on a branch, that nobody wants, forgotten? That is sometimes how I honestly feel as an adult. It is not who I am in reality, but these feelings definitely creep in when I am at certain events, with certain groups, or in certain places.
What circles do you want to be a part of?
Is it so bad that you are left out? Being left out of some circles that are a negative influence on you is not a bad thing. It is good to be left out of groups where the people do not want you or see your significance. I don't want to be that person who is attending someone's heels or trying to get them to recognize my goodness. I don't want to be a part of a group where membership determines the importance of one's soul. So, why do I feel frustrated when this happens? I think it is because it is childish and ignorant behavior. There is no wisdom in this type of exclusion, just arrogance, pride, and falsehood. Don't get me wrong. I do not feel that you should be a part of every group or that you should allow everyone in your group. But it doesn't take much to be kind to "outsiders". That unkind behavior I find ridiculous, and a behavior others have not grown out of.
Don't Cage Yourself.
Do you feel like those old shoes sometimes? Do you think that is what others see when they look at you? Their acceptance doesn't determine your worth. Their group doesn't make them worthy. They are missing the opportunity to be kind, loving, and caring to others while they are in their group. That is sad. It is even more sorrowful that they don't see it. Being stuck in the need for acceptance from the group is like a bird in a cage. They can never really soar to what they were meant to be. Instead, they are caged in their own golden bars of their making. They will never recognize it. And that is to be pitied. Some stay in the cage because it is comfortable. Some stay in the cage because it gives them a sense of strength. I encourage you not to cage yourself, whether it be the need for acceptance or being a part of a group.
What hallway are you walking down?
I used to think that high school ended at high school. It doesn't really. Some adults have never really left high school. They are still walking down those halls because they do not know how to leave them. Are you still walking the halls of popularity and the teenage angst of acceptance? If you are, then I encourage you to leave those halls. If you are holding onto your popularity, let go and go talk to that person who is not in "the group". If you are striving for acceptance from those who do not care about you, recognize your worth and walk away from their exclusion.
Stand in truth, not feelings.
And yes, sometimes, adults struggle with these feelings. Fortunately, not all of your feelings are rooted in truth. Stand in the truth. It's not worth chasing feelings or the need to be accepted. Live in who you are, not what others believe about you.
Next Blog: Nothing Goes to Waste
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