Photo by Laura Ockel on Unsplash
"Your children know you love them by your presence, not by presents." ~Anonymous
As a child, opening the package of candy hearts and reading the messages was the best. I loved the variety of colors and the messages on them. It was even better if you received them from someone you had a connection to. As a teacher, I used to do a Valentine's Day graphing activity with the same candy. The students would rip open the packages and place the candies on the graph to represent the variety of colors in the box. It was a great way to teach about bar graphs; the students loved and learned from it.
A strategy I had was to ignore it.
Valentine's Day was fun as a child. As I grew older, it became less fun and more about whether someone liked you. As a chunkier kid, I often didn't have a "valentine." The anxiety was awful, and I felt like I was forever on the rejection list. Don't we all want someone who will love us for who we are? So, I created a strategy that got me through Valentine's Day. I ignored it. It wasn't until I was older that I got my Valentine, and those Valentins didn't last for long. BUT they were merely a poor representation of the Valentine I already had (Jesus) and the ones to come (my husband & daughter).
My daughter, the other day, told me about a heart her dance studio had put up, asking, "Who's Your Valentine?" The students would walk up and write their Valentine's name in the heart. Now, most of these kids are in Elementary and Middle School. My daughter was telling me about the students who had Valentine's. Then she said, "I think it is weird to have a Valentine at my age. I am just a kid." She has had crushes on boys in the past, and I am sure there will be more crushes. She was unmoved about having a Valentine, but she did have one. My child just isn't in a rush to run into relationships with boys, to the relief of my husband. Next, she said, "My Valentine is my family, because you are!"
Loving your child all year is slowing down and being with them.
We are her first Valentins. What an honor to be named that by a 6th-grade girl! How did we get to this point? First, we celebrate Valentine's Day with her. We have since she was a toddler. Every year, we put up a Target dollar item that has pockets where we can place 14 notes to say what we love about her. She opens on each day leading up to February 14. Also, we have a Valentine's meal with her and exchange cards and small gifts. The meal has heart shapes somewhere in it. On a holiday that is supposed to celebrate love, it is important for your love for your children to be highlighted. Second, loving them all year long is the most important. This goes beyond celebrating a holiday or presents. It is standing by them in the hard times and celebrating in the good times. Loving them daily is applying good boundaries in your relationship with them, so they are not confused about life. Daily love is reflected in slowing down and speeding up at the right times. Loving all year long is being with them and letting them know you are there. Both celebrating Valentine's Day and loving them all year long are helpful in different ways.
Being my daughter's first Valentine is an honor, and to have it come from her lips is even better. It teaches her what to look for in love and her value. Don't be just your child's first Valentine, be a good first Valentine. Make sure good groundwork is laid for their future relationships, whether it is romantic or friendships.
"Your child's future relationships begin in your arms...." ~The Focused Homemaker
Next Blog: Review of The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom
Add comment
Comments